Sabtu, 25 April 2015
good morning friend.
I want to tell you abaout my dreams,
My name is Nely. When I was a kis, I have a dream was to be
a doctor. What insprired me to be a doctor is becouse a doctor can heal his
patient. Sometimes, I want to be teacher becouse I want to teach children.
Now, I
know what I want to be. I will like to become an accountant. So I study in the
Economics Faculty of The Semarang State University. After graduating from the
university, I want to work at the accountant company to become a chief
accountant.
After I
work for 2 or 3 years, I will marry. Then, I will start a business with my
husband. I will build a tour and trevel company. After I run my business, I
will have 2 children and live in a big
house with a garden inside so I and my husbang can play with our children. Further,
I have another business such as a futsal court. Finally, I want to take my
family to Makkah for “Umroh”. I think that is all I can say about my dreams.
thanks you. 
Komentar ini telah dihapus oleh pengarang.
BalasHapusHi. Nelly, I would like to give you some feedbacks.
BalasHapus1. When I was a "kis", I "have" a dream was to be a doctor.
- When I was a "kid", I "had" ...
2. "becouse" --> "because".
3. Sometimes, I want to be teacher becouse I want to teach children.
- Sometimes, I want to be "a" teacher "because" I want...
4. husbang --> "husband".
I'm sorry, if I have a mistake. Thank you. :)
okey Eka Herli, thanks for your comment my mistakes. :)
HapusNel, I want to try cheking your task, and I find anymistakes from your work,
BalasHapusMy name is Nely. When I was a “kis”( you should write “kid” be better you use “child” ) , I have a dream “was”( I think you should write “ want”) to be a doctor. What insprired me to be a doctor ” is becouse “ ( be better you just use one word ; Is or Because if you use “ because “ you can to use comma in front of word (because), if you use “ is “ you nothing to use comma ) a doctor can heal his patient. Sometimes, I want to be ( you should use an article in here ) “a” teacher “ becouse” ( you must write “Because” ) I want to teach children.
Now, I know what I want to be. I will like to become an accountant. So” , “ ( I think you can put a comma after “So” ) I study in the Economics Faculty “of The Semarang State University” ( be better if you use “ at State University of Semarang). After graduating from the university, I want to work at the accountant company to become a chief accountant.
After I work for 2 or 3 years, I will marry. Then, I will start a business with my husband. I will build a tour and trevel company. After I run my business, I will have 2 children and live in a big house with a garden inside” . “ ( I think, you need full stop ) so “So,” I and my “husbang” ( you should write “ husband” ) can play with our children. Further, I have another business such as a futsal court. Finally, I want to take my family to Makkah for “Umroh”. I think that is all I can say about my dreams.
okey yulia, thanks for your comment. :)
Hapus